The More I Live It, the More I Realize that Life is Worthless

Unfortunately, I seem to have burnt myself out by my hyperactivity this week towards school, because whenever I do that, I tend to wipe myself out.

I'm coming to the grim determination that even when I get my 4 majors and my minor (s?) that I'm still worthless.

In seven years, I'll have, at minimum, a master's and a doctorate.

Still worthless.

In the end, if niology has taught me anything, it's that we don't mean jack.

Life is this thing. It's not some mystical gift. It's an accident. Not saying good or bad, but it's an accident nonetheless.

I've been considering the whole cosmic thing, how we evolved from some amino acids in goo, and sometimes I think how amazing it is that humanity came from primordial goo. I look at pictures of the ape like things we came from, and think about what their puny brains might have imagined. They say the Neaderthals had language, but if they looked at where we are today, they would be speechless.

I would say without doubt that we're on the edge of some Renaissance.

But I cannot escape the fact that biology too is cruel. That despite everything I'm working for, I'm going to end up just as dead as Joe Shmoe who did nothing. There is no difference in fate.

Chemistry and physics in reality just are. But biology, I think, has personality. And humanity, humanity she hates.

Allow the evolution of humanity only to quash it.
Is is better to never be born or to be born and to be meaningless?
In the end, it's all the same. It would have been better not to be a waste of resources, yet ici je suis.

Ok, I'm horridly depressed and need to go to bed in order to avoid slipping into some kind of deep dark place.