I should comment on life, since I have not done it in the last few days.

I'm starting to think that I am either depressed or just so exhausted that emotions don't play into anything. Sure, I laugh (a LOT) when shows like Desperate Housewives are on, but all the rest of the time, I'm getting to where I am only serious.

I have this overwhelming sense of peril combined with panic. I'm terrified that I'm not going to get straight A's, which is a real possibility this semester. That 83% in Phys. Chem has spread like wildfire. I'm in a veritable sense of panic about all of my classes right now, except immunology and French. Everything else is this constant sense of worry, like my life is about to undergo chaos. As if A-'s to B+'s are about to start falling from the sky, bombarding my GPA.

I don't think I've ever been so worried about grades in recent times. This week brings no promises of things being any easier, with two quizzes, a test, and a presentation. Next week is two tests, and so on.

The GRE is defintiely starting to loom on me, as I am panicked also that I will fail that and blow any shot of getting into grad school.

My days now are filled with worry and fear. My lack of success is disappointing. No such failures should be tolerated, but, unfortunately, existence demands that I tolerate my failures. If only things could be different. But the world is not this happy shiny place filled with ponies, rainbows, and happy faces. This world is at its core a dark place, filled with dark people, that have no intention of making it any better. Human nature tends first towards destruction, and without order, we are all lost to violence.

If I am successful at my endeavors this week, things might start to look a little better, but this whole month is just one dark dark day after another.