Addendum

Since posting this morning, little has gone better for me. The good thing is that I finished my immunology lab from Tuesday and I outlined one chapter of my GRE book to get the things I need to know for the exam. My hands are too tired to write anymore, so I thought I would post some more.

I'm still really just frustrated with having all of these plans for this coming week go up in smoke, as well as my plans for my winter break. I was going to spend it just studying for GRE #2, but alas, now I have to be all happy. I'm seriously tired of having to be Mr. Give Everything because I'm just worn out.

I get 1 hour a week to myself these days.

I got into a fight with my mom last night about my dad's MS/BPPV. She thinks that his illness is some direct punishment from god because she didn't pray or she did something bad. I said that it's biology. Something no deity really has control over, but rather just a flawed system of existence. I said basically that she wasn't cosmically important enough to warrant something like that and that an autoimmune disease is just a malfunction of biology. I dunno anymore.

After posting, I felt the need to run downstairs and get coffee. So I pay my typical $1.77 for coffee, only to get half a cup. All of the coffee dispensers were out and the barista looked really stressed with lots of customers, so I just left.

Then I looked at my banking/credit card stuff and it's seriously depressing. I got paid $200 today, which is nice, but all of that money is gone tomorrow, when I get my credit card bill, which, by the way, is $580. I only have $600 in my accounts, so, for the second straight month, I'm going to only be able to pay about 50% of my bill.

I hate money so much, it's not even funny. I hate how my life is turning out. I hate everything right now, basically.

I hate how I want to be so freaking selfish, and I can't.