I have 200 posts, and I never even noticed it.

Such is how my life is: I am no longer able to be this normal human being, but rather, I am some kind of machine, bent on nothing but success.

The problem is that I have not done well in anything in the last two weeks. I did badly on my biochemistry quiz yesterday, which continues my hot streak of failure. If I don't stop it today with my genetics test (for which I am sorely unprepared), then my semester will effectively be ruined. I NEED an A on this test, or everything is going down the tubes, failure will be assured, and any hope I ever had of being someone totally ruined.

Such failures are intolerable. Completely and utterly intolerable. If I cannot maintain my standards, then I have no business claiming to be a good student, no business applying to graduate school, and no business doing anything I like to do. In effect these recent failures have exposed some deep weakness, some sloth or some ignorance, which I must endeavor to quash. Once I have finished this series of exams, I will spend no time wasted on frivolous matters. Sleep must be cut drastically, and I will adapt. The sources of any recreation must be buried and any semblance of joy must be eradicated, for the sake of any success to come.

I must defeat my desires and smother my inhibitions.