I Don't Think That I'm Going to Make It

So today I am beyond dour. I am beyond exhausted, and I am at the edge of totally and completely emotionally snapping.

I'm got so much work to do in the next month, it's ridiculous. Next week, I have a presentation, two quizzes and a hugenormous exam. Then the week after I have two more tests, the week after that I have 4 tests and an essay due and the week after that it's the GRE.

I've stayed up past midnight for the last three or four days trying to get ahead so that I can study for the GRE, but I've had very little success. That is mainly due to my family troubles right now. I've been having to help my little sister for at least a couple hours a week on her homework, and Wednesday was no exception, with about two and a half hours. After which, I had to spend like an hour calming my mom down because she's convinced my sister needs to go back to second grade. After that I had several hours of HW, and a full day at school yesterday.

Yesterday added more fun to this month, as I now somehow got conned into editing people's scholarship applications (I'm not applying, so I don't care) and into working on a Saturday for something called Cool Science. I hate my life right now.

The end of all emotional control though is currently developing. Not depressed control, but just sheer frustration. I had been looking forward to having this next week to myself. Well, last night, my dad had this BPPV incident where he got REALLY nauseous. He thinks its related to his MS, which means that they're going to stay home this week. Not only that, but I'm probably going to have to go to Disneyland. I don't want to go anywhere. I just want some time to myself, which is impossible for me to get. And if I get any time to myself, I'm stuck doing homework or studying.

So there is going to be no cooking. I had all of these plans for tomorrow, where I could put on a couple of calming CD's, put some cookies in the oven, and study genetics. Then I could watch movies, TV, whatever, at my level of comfort. I could go to bed early, and sleep in a little. I had lots of plans that are now blown to shit. And it just frustrates me so much. I am in desperate need of relaxation, and I cannot get it for anything. At all. For at least 9 months.

And even if not relaxation, an opportunity to study alone, without anyone bothering me, without football on the tele, without any distractions. But, that is definitely not the case any more. So basically, I'm going to have to go someplace to study. Whenever I go anywhere, I don't study as well, and blah. I'm just so goddamm tired, it's not even funny.

And here I am at work, and I am really not wanting to be here right now. I really don't want to help people, and I don't want to talk to them. I'm just at the end of my rope right now.

When is this freakingness going to end?