I think now I should get like 100 tests every week right now. These are the grades I got when I only had like 1-2 tests per week:
93-Genetics, 83-Physical Chemistry, 92-Biochemistry, 75-Physical Chemistry
These are the grades I got (so far) on that two week period with 7 tests/essay
Spanish-98, French-98, Biochemistry-94 (Should have been 98), Immunology-100, Physical Chemistry-91, History-97.
So next week should be good, since, starting Saturday I have 4 tests: the Bio GRE, a biochem quiz, a genetics test, and a p-chem test.
So there's a holy day of obligation tomorrow, and I'm totally not going. Between church and a test that determines the rest of my life, I choose to work on the test. Besides, since I've studied anything about them, I don't care much for metaphysics.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
FINALLY!!!!
As noted by the glorious tone of that title, this university, in which I have invested so many dollars, has decided to endow me with a course schedule. YAY!!!!!!!
Seriously, people. You know how much I have wanted this thing to come out, and here it is!
Actually, I have very little wiggle room. Most of my schedule is chiseled in stone already, and here it is:
SPAN 310: Literary Analysis MW 9:25-10:40
CHEM 482: Biochemistry II MW 10:40-12:05
PHIL 495: Senior Thesis and Seminar W 1:40-4:20
BIOL 431: Advanced Immunology
FR 102: Intro to French II TR 550-735
BIOL 300: Biostatistics TR 9:25-10:40
There's one more class that I'm going to take. Here are the two options:
HIST 423: Renaissance/Late Middle Ages W 7:15-9:50 (PM!)
PHIL 112: Critical Thinking Online
I'm leading towards the philosophy simply because I can finish my degree if I take that class online, plus the thesis. Even though the history class sounds cool, I'm going to have lots of opportunity to take history classes.
So that's only 22 hours. With three of them online, I'm only on campus 19 hours a week, not counting work yet.
Know the absolutely amazing thing though? Look at that schedule. NO FRIDAY CLASSES!!!!!!!!
Hells yeah, no Friday classes.
Hotness. Total and complete hotness. Plus, this is what I'll have left to take:
Biology: 1 credit hour
History: 6 credit hours
Chemistry: 6 credit hours
That's it. Hot damn.
To do French homework.
Seriously, people. You know how much I have wanted this thing to come out, and here it is!
Actually, I have very little wiggle room. Most of my schedule is chiseled in stone already, and here it is:
SPAN 310: Literary Analysis MW 9:25-10:40
CHEM 482: Biochemistry II MW 10:40-12:05
PHIL 495: Senior Thesis and Seminar W 1:40-4:20
BIOL 431: Advanced Immunology
FR 102: Intro to French II TR 550-735
BIOL 300: Biostatistics TR 9:25-10:40
There's one more class that I'm going to take. Here are the two options:
HIST 423: Renaissance/Late Middle Ages W 7:15-9:50 (PM!)
PHIL 112: Critical Thinking Online
I'm leading towards the philosophy simply because I can finish my degree if I take that class online, plus the thesis. Even though the history class sounds cool, I'm going to have lots of opportunity to take history classes.
So that's only 22 hours. With three of them online, I'm only on campus 19 hours a week, not counting work yet.
Know the absolutely amazing thing though? Look at that schedule. NO FRIDAY CLASSES!!!!!!!!
Hells yeah, no Friday classes.
Hotness. Total and complete hotness. Plus, this is what I'll have left to take:
Biology: 1 credit hour
History: 6 credit hours
Chemistry: 6 credit hours
That's it. Hot damn.
To do French homework.
Damn. I am freaking tired.
Odd thing is that I got a decent amount of sleep last night, AND I've already had three big cups of coffee today. It's not even noon yet by the way.
Yesterday was pretty meh, nothing of great importance happening anywhere in the Ray world.
Well, except the practice test I took on the Bio GRE. I missed 1/3 of the questions, which I am pretty sure counts as REALLY bad. I still have a lot of studying to do, and I'm pretty much going to skip a lot of classes to get there. Tonight I'm going to go over all of my cycles again for cell stuff.
Tomorrow=reviewing all of my organismic stuff, and Thursday is all about ecology and evolution.
Dammit I am so fucked over right now, it's not even funny. School has screwed me yet again.
I get TWO really big grades today, and I'm not ready for either of them. I doubt that they'll be good.
I can't focus on that, I need to focus on GRE.
Odd thing is that I got a decent amount of sleep last night, AND I've already had three big cups of coffee today. It's not even noon yet by the way.
Yesterday was pretty meh, nothing of great importance happening anywhere in the Ray world.
Well, except the practice test I took on the Bio GRE. I missed 1/3 of the questions, which I am pretty sure counts as REALLY bad. I still have a lot of studying to do, and I'm pretty much going to skip a lot of classes to get there. Tonight I'm going to go over all of my cycles again for cell stuff.
Tomorrow=reviewing all of my organismic stuff, and Thursday is all about ecology and evolution.
Dammit I am so fucked over right now, it's not even funny. School has screwed me yet again.
I get TWO really big grades today, and I'm not ready for either of them. I doubt that they'll be good.
I can't focus on that, I need to focus on GRE.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Distraction
As you can tell by my title, I have issues focusing on anything that I should be doing to be getting A's in my classes this semester.
BY THE WAY. I now am guaranteed to get at least a 62% in genetics. My first, or second, depending on French, guaranteed D. I can get no lower than a D, and it's not even November yet.
By the way, "Rocktober" my ass. I think it's funny that everyone here is all ga-ga over baseball only to get crushed. That's why football is so much greater. It's do or die every week.
I mean, seriously, look at what's been going on in college football. Teams work hard all season to get to a respectable ranking and then get kicked in the ass and plummet. Connecticut, for example is #13 in the BCS rankings. Seriously, how long do you think that's going to last?
Everyone's saying that if OSU and BC run the table, they get into the national championship. I say not so fast. There are still 2 undefeated teams that have a legitimate claim to getting in. I seriously think that ASU deserves the #1 ranking if they can run the table. Having big wins on legit teams like CU (who, by the way beat Oklahoma and Texas Tech and held Kansas close), California (who beat Oregon [but they're only minorly legitimate]), Oregon, and USC (who everyone says is legitimate, but the losses to Stanford and Oregon show otherwise) versus Ohio State whose only real win would be against Penn State. Michigan has no validity, since they lost to both Oregon (ooh, look how important that game is now) and Appalachian State. Seriously??? If ASU runs the table it totally deserves #1. Now, the question becomes what if Kansas can run the table? It would have wins against Missouri and probably Oklahoma on its resume, two top ten teams. No other program could claim that. But then again, KU has had too many close games-look at CU and the last ten minutes of the A&M game. I don't have any faith in Boston College, so I won't go into that.
I see no way how any SEC team can run the table. No way. Not even LSU. They're going to trip up somewhere.
The thing is we really don't have a "CONFERENCE OF THE YEAR" sort of thing. Every time one conference starts looking up, someone crashes. Had Louisville had a good year this year, I would be tempted to crown the Big East, but there's just something suspicious about a conference that has Connecticut as its top team.
The Big Ten is frankly a joke this year in my opinion. OSU is sort of off by itself in legit land, but look at the rest of the conference. Not good peeps.
The SEC is too even. Everyone is knocking the other out of contention. Florida has no shot at a repeat now. The only team with a chance is LSU, and considering how close they had to play against Auburn, Florida, and Kentucky, I can't see them emerging from the SEC mire unscathed.
The Big 12 is a bit interesting, because for once the North division looks legitimate. Missouri, Kansas, Kansas State, and Colorado all look legit and Oklahoma and Texas should never be forgotten in the South. I don't think this year, but next, a Big 12 has a chance to win it all.
The Pac-10 may be the conference of the year, depending on whether Oregon and ASU win out. These two are clearly the class of the league.
Now I've been looking at the BCS standings, and look at Hawaii. #14. There are 4 more games left in the season, I think, and it only needs to climb two spots. Now consider this, #12 Michigan has to play #1 OSU and #13 Connecticut WILL fall at some point. That's two spots there.
Plus there are ACC, Big 12, and SEC championship games to consider.
Actually, if any team is really going to break in, I think it might be Boise State again. They're up to 22, and still have 4 games to go. The game between Hawaii and Boise State will determine who goes to a BCS bowl, I think.
All of this is JUST college football. Anyone looking at pro?
Of course, I'm doing that too. I watched the Lions and Bears yesterday and I think the Lions have defintiely turned a corner, and may actually play in a playoff game. I wished I could have seen the Saints game instead of the Pats-Redskins blowout. I think that NO has definitely turned a corner too. Definitely playing good enough now to win the NFC South and be really competitive for Super Bowl representation.
Yeah, everyone next week is Pats-Colts gah gah, but I think a sleeper game of the week is going to be played in New Orleans. Jags vs Saints. IF that's on, I'm totally watching it.
I'm going out on a limb here. Based on what I've seen this year, this is who I think is going to the playoffs:
AFC: Indianapolis and New England get byes. Winner on Sunday takes all.
Pittsburg and San Diego win their conferences.
Jacksonville and CLEVELAND are wild cards (look at the rest of Cleveland's schedule, the last 6 games are VERY winable).
NFC: Dallas and whoever wins between Detroit and Green Bay get byes.
New Orleans wins its conference
If Warner and Leinart can get healthy again, Arizona wins out in the west. If not, then Seattle gets by on the seat of their pants.
Wild Cards: Loser of Detroit-Green Bay and New York.
I go no further than that.
Actually to be honest, pro football is a little more exciting to me right now than college, and it's normally the other way.
But I'm seeing some REALLY good stuff out of Cleveland and New Orleans right now. Really good things happening there.
Who cares about baseball when there's this much going on in football, which I think can now officially be called "America's Sport".
Seriously, people the Anuna CD is hot. I saw them on TV and was not too impressed, but listening to this CD, they've got some GOOD stuff.
Except for my biochemsitry quiz this Wednesday, this week=BIOLOGY GRE on Saturday. Holy crap, I'm nervous. I reviewed all of the Molecular and Cellular Biology requirements and all I need to review later in the week is all of the cycles.
I need to take a practice test to see how well I can do on it.
To work!
BY THE WAY. I now am guaranteed to get at least a 62% in genetics. My first, or second, depending on French, guaranteed D. I can get no lower than a D, and it's not even November yet.
By the way, "Rocktober" my ass. I think it's funny that everyone here is all ga-ga over baseball only to get crushed. That's why football is so much greater. It's do or die every week.
I mean, seriously, look at what's been going on in college football. Teams work hard all season to get to a respectable ranking and then get kicked in the ass and plummet. Connecticut, for example is #13 in the BCS rankings. Seriously, how long do you think that's going to last?
Everyone's saying that if OSU and BC run the table, they get into the national championship. I say not so fast. There are still 2 undefeated teams that have a legitimate claim to getting in. I seriously think that ASU deserves the #1 ranking if they can run the table. Having big wins on legit teams like CU (who, by the way beat Oklahoma and Texas Tech and held Kansas close), California (who beat Oregon [but they're only minorly legitimate]), Oregon, and USC (who everyone says is legitimate, but the losses to Stanford and Oregon show otherwise) versus Ohio State whose only real win would be against Penn State. Michigan has no validity, since they lost to both Oregon (ooh, look how important that game is now) and Appalachian State. Seriously??? If ASU runs the table it totally deserves #1. Now, the question becomes what if Kansas can run the table? It would have wins against Missouri and probably Oklahoma on its resume, two top ten teams. No other program could claim that. But then again, KU has had too many close games-look at CU and the last ten minutes of the A&M game. I don't have any faith in Boston College, so I won't go into that.
I see no way how any SEC team can run the table. No way. Not even LSU. They're going to trip up somewhere.
The thing is we really don't have a "CONFERENCE OF THE YEAR" sort of thing. Every time one conference starts looking up, someone crashes. Had Louisville had a good year this year, I would be tempted to crown the Big East, but there's just something suspicious about a conference that has Connecticut as its top team.
The Big Ten is frankly a joke this year in my opinion. OSU is sort of off by itself in legit land, but look at the rest of the conference. Not good peeps.
The SEC is too even. Everyone is knocking the other out of contention. Florida has no shot at a repeat now. The only team with a chance is LSU, and considering how close they had to play against Auburn, Florida, and Kentucky, I can't see them emerging from the SEC mire unscathed.
The Big 12 is a bit interesting, because for once the North division looks legitimate. Missouri, Kansas, Kansas State, and Colorado all look legit and Oklahoma and Texas should never be forgotten in the South. I don't think this year, but next, a Big 12 has a chance to win it all.
The Pac-10 may be the conference of the year, depending on whether Oregon and ASU win out. These two are clearly the class of the league.
Now I've been looking at the BCS standings, and look at Hawaii. #14. There are 4 more games left in the season, I think, and it only needs to climb two spots. Now consider this, #12 Michigan has to play #1 OSU and #13 Connecticut WILL fall at some point. That's two spots there.
Plus there are ACC, Big 12, and SEC championship games to consider.
Actually, if any team is really going to break in, I think it might be Boise State again. They're up to 22, and still have 4 games to go. The game between Hawaii and Boise State will determine who goes to a BCS bowl, I think.
All of this is JUST college football. Anyone looking at pro?
Of course, I'm doing that too. I watched the Lions and Bears yesterday and I think the Lions have defintiely turned a corner, and may actually play in a playoff game. I wished I could have seen the Saints game instead of the Pats-Redskins blowout. I think that NO has definitely turned a corner too. Definitely playing good enough now to win the NFC South and be really competitive for Super Bowl representation.
Yeah, everyone next week is Pats-Colts gah gah, but I think a sleeper game of the week is going to be played in New Orleans. Jags vs Saints. IF that's on, I'm totally watching it.
I'm going out on a limb here. Based on what I've seen this year, this is who I think is going to the playoffs:
AFC: Indianapolis and New England get byes. Winner on Sunday takes all.
Pittsburg and San Diego win their conferences.
Jacksonville and CLEVELAND are wild cards (look at the rest of Cleveland's schedule, the last 6 games are VERY winable).
NFC: Dallas and whoever wins between Detroit and Green Bay get byes.
New Orleans wins its conference
If Warner and Leinart can get healthy again, Arizona wins out in the west. If not, then Seattle gets by on the seat of their pants.
Wild Cards: Loser of Detroit-Green Bay and New York.
I go no further than that.
Actually to be honest, pro football is a little more exciting to me right now than college, and it's normally the other way.
But I'm seeing some REALLY good stuff out of Cleveland and New Orleans right now. Really good things happening there.
Who cares about baseball when there's this much going on in football, which I think can now officially be called "America's Sport".
Seriously, people the Anuna CD is hot. I saw them on TV and was not too impressed, but listening to this CD, they've got some GOOD stuff.
Except for my biochemsitry quiz this Wednesday, this week=BIOLOGY GRE on Saturday. Holy crap, I'm nervous. I reviewed all of the Molecular and Cellular Biology requirements and all I need to review later in the week is all of the cycles.
I need to take a practice test to see how well I can do on it.
To work!
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Saturday is here, and almost gone really, and I've done like, hm, nothing.
That is a partial lie, I did do all of my French homework for this weekend, and I've read almsot all of the first half of my Charlemagne book for History. I'm going to finish that tonight, because it's surprisingly easy reading. Plus it's cool.
Basically my paycheck for next week is gone already, because I spent over $100 today on gas, an oil change and other things. I got seriously ripped off on my oil change. I wanted the $21 one and they gave me the $25 one and then charged me a whole bunch of extra money on labor, taxes, and waste fees. Talk about gouging.
I did however find a shirt for $2 at K-Mart today and the Anuna Celtic Origins CD, which is actually quite good. There are songs in English, Scotch and Irish Gaelic, and Latin. A very nice variety overall.
Believe it or not, but things are somewhat improving. I got a 91% on my physical chemistry quiz yesterday, which is much an improvement over my last one. It's nice to be getting A's again.
Plus I got my grades on my first two genetics readings today, which were 100 and 96%. I only need like 31 points to get to passing in genetics, of which I should get most this weekend. Totally awesome.
I still have my Spanish abstract hanging over my head. Grr.
Classes I AM skipping this week:
CHEM 451 (FRIDAY)
FR 101 (THURSDAY)
Classes I may be skipping this week
BIOL 409 (?) THURSDAY
BIOL 391 (?) THURSDAY
SPAN 425 (?) WEDNESDAY
GRE on SATURDAY!
That's so scary.
That is a partial lie, I did do all of my French homework for this weekend, and I've read almsot all of the first half of my Charlemagne book for History. I'm going to finish that tonight, because it's surprisingly easy reading. Plus it's cool.
Basically my paycheck for next week is gone already, because I spent over $100 today on gas, an oil change and other things. I got seriously ripped off on my oil change. I wanted the $21 one and they gave me the $25 one and then charged me a whole bunch of extra money on labor, taxes, and waste fees. Talk about gouging.
I did however find a shirt for $2 at K-Mart today and the Anuna Celtic Origins CD, which is actually quite good. There are songs in English, Scotch and Irish Gaelic, and Latin. A very nice variety overall.
Believe it or not, but things are somewhat improving. I got a 91% on my physical chemistry quiz yesterday, which is much an improvement over my last one. It's nice to be getting A's again.
Plus I got my grades on my first two genetics readings today, which were 100 and 96%. I only need like 31 points to get to passing in genetics, of which I should get most this weekend. Totally awesome.
I still have my Spanish abstract hanging over my head. Grr.
Classes I AM skipping this week:
CHEM 451 (FRIDAY)
FR 101 (THURSDAY)
Classes I may be skipping this week
BIOL 409 (?) THURSDAY
BIOL 391 (?) THURSDAY
SPAN 425 (?) WEDNESDAY
GRE on SATURDAY!
That's so scary.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Salvation?
So today is the last day of my really hard week. Actually, my hardest week of the semester, with possible exception to finals week. The thing baout finals week though is that you don't have any other classes, you just take tests, and this week was all about tests+essays+finals+normal life.
Finals week is looking close, suddenly. Every week between now and the end of the semester is occupied by little things, like two tests or one test and a quiz or a quiz and an essay, something in that regard, almost every week of the semester.
However, very little of this phases me at all right now. I'm at that stage where I simply have to recover from this week and prepare for my GRE this coming week.
There is a really dark spot in the sky, well, actually, two. I have my P-Chem quiz still today, which promises to be a little bit easier than all of my other ones because this was stuff I did back in high school chemistry. However, it again is multiple choice, so I'll probably end up getting like a 30%. I seriously need to get an A on this quiz if I have any hope for the rest of this semester. ANY hope depends on success today. We get to drop two of our lowest grades, and my five grades so far are 100, 95, 83, 83, and 75. I totally need another 100 on that list. I need it.
The other darkness right now is Spanish. I have to turn in a goddamn abstract for my research paper on Monday, and I barely have an idea of what I'm going to do. I've been so absorbed with this last week that I have not had time to even think about Spanish, which I am forced to do the second that today is over.
I'm skipping everything after 1:00 next Thursday in cramming for the GRE. I'm locking myself in my room and not coming out, for anything, except one hour of Grey's Anatomy, which I am happy to report, is on an upswing again. This makes me generally happy.
In the last twelve hours, I have affected a great change, I think. I did something that I've been wanting to do for the last three years, and it looks like I might be experiencing a new refocusing of things in my life. I am totally hoping for this to carry on like a wildfire, burning and destroying every resemblance of that which I am trying to discard. More to come later, hopefully. All I can say is that I am at 8 hours and counting on this new change, hoping that it carries into the rest of my life. If I can make two weeks, I should be good for months, if not years.
With this new refocusing comes the opportunity for newer academic successes and a refocusing of my energies on what really matters: getting my A's and feeling the grip of success again.
SPEAKING of which, I am happy to report that in at least two classes, I have now passed 50% in guaranteed grades. This simple amount is astounding. Genetics is currently my highest grade, with a 56.65% guaranteed grade, with some possibility of this climbing OVER 60% IN THE NEXT WEEK. This would be my first guaranteed passing grade of the semester, and a fantastic contribution to change. In two weeks, I will have hopefully even greater news to report with regards to genetics, because an A on the next test will push me deeply into guaranteed C territory, possibly as high as a 77%. This is without even taking the FINAL EXAM. A 77%. damn. I have to say it.
I'm good.
My methods class is really close to a guaranteed D as well, of course, we all know how unacceptable D's are.
History is around 50%, depending on my grade on this paper, which is not going to be as good as my last one.
I know a lot of people think Al Gore has done great things for the whole global warming cause, but I don't think he deserved the Nobel Peace Prize. I mean, that prize should go to people who do great social justice things, and I don't think that his sort of hypocrticial works (if he's using private jets to fly--making carbon dioxide and all kinds of fossil fuel emmisions, I call that hypocrticial) are equal to what the people in Iraq, Myanmar, Lebanon, and pretty much all of Africa are trying to accomplish. If I had a say, I would give the prize to all of the people fighting for peace in their respective countries and order the money be donated to reputable charities.
Finals week is looking close, suddenly. Every week between now and the end of the semester is occupied by little things, like two tests or one test and a quiz or a quiz and an essay, something in that regard, almost every week of the semester.
However, very little of this phases me at all right now. I'm at that stage where I simply have to recover from this week and prepare for my GRE this coming week.
There is a really dark spot in the sky, well, actually, two. I have my P-Chem quiz still today, which promises to be a little bit easier than all of my other ones because this was stuff I did back in high school chemistry. However, it again is multiple choice, so I'll probably end up getting like a 30%. I seriously need to get an A on this quiz if I have any hope for the rest of this semester. ANY hope depends on success today. We get to drop two of our lowest grades, and my five grades so far are 100, 95, 83, 83, and 75. I totally need another 100 on that list. I need it.
The other darkness right now is Spanish. I have to turn in a goddamn abstract for my research paper on Monday, and I barely have an idea of what I'm going to do. I've been so absorbed with this last week that I have not had time to even think about Spanish, which I am forced to do the second that today is over.
I'm skipping everything after 1:00 next Thursday in cramming for the GRE. I'm locking myself in my room and not coming out, for anything, except one hour of Grey's Anatomy, which I am happy to report, is on an upswing again. This makes me generally happy.
In the last twelve hours, I have affected a great change, I think. I did something that I've been wanting to do for the last three years, and it looks like I might be experiencing a new refocusing of things in my life. I am totally hoping for this to carry on like a wildfire, burning and destroying every resemblance of that which I am trying to discard. More to come later, hopefully. All I can say is that I am at 8 hours and counting on this new change, hoping that it carries into the rest of my life. If I can make two weeks, I should be good for months, if not years.
With this new refocusing comes the opportunity for newer academic successes and a refocusing of my energies on what really matters: getting my A's and feeling the grip of success again.
SPEAKING of which, I am happy to report that in at least two classes, I have now passed 50% in guaranteed grades. This simple amount is astounding. Genetics is currently my highest grade, with a 56.65% guaranteed grade, with some possibility of this climbing OVER 60% IN THE NEXT WEEK. This would be my first guaranteed passing grade of the semester, and a fantastic contribution to change. In two weeks, I will have hopefully even greater news to report with regards to genetics, because an A on the next test will push me deeply into guaranteed C territory, possibly as high as a 77%. This is without even taking the FINAL EXAM. A 77%. damn. I have to say it.
I'm good.
My methods class is really close to a guaranteed D as well, of course, we all know how unacceptable D's are.
History is around 50%, depending on my grade on this paper, which is not going to be as good as my last one.
I know a lot of people think Al Gore has done great things for the whole global warming cause, but I don't think he deserved the Nobel Peace Prize. I mean, that prize should go to people who do great social justice things, and I don't think that his sort of hypocrticial works (if he's using private jets to fly--making carbon dioxide and all kinds of fossil fuel emmisions, I call that hypocrticial) are equal to what the people in Iraq, Myanmar, Lebanon, and pretty much all of Africa are trying to accomplish. If I had a say, I would give the prize to all of the people fighting for peace in their respective countries and order the money be donated to reputable charities.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Lots of sadness
because I basically have so much methods stuff left to do that it may kill me.
I've gotten to the discussion on this last lab, and writing all of that up should take me about an hour to an hour and a half to do. Yay.
I have to put in our Flow-Jo stuff that we did on a previous lab. Probably anohter 30 minutes.
I still ahve to really study for our test tomorrow. Another hour.
All in all, tonight, I should be up until about midnight.
Then tomorrow, I have to work my ass off on P-Chem since I have a quiz on Friday.
Shit. This week is almost done.
Then of course I ahve to spend all weekend basically working on Spanish, which ,thanks to this essay, I hate right now.
Next week, fortunately is only my biochemistry quiz, so I can spend the rest of the week cramming for the GRE. I'm skipping everything on Friday to study, French on Thursday night, and maybe another Spanish class on Wednesday.
All in all, my life is pain.
I would love to post something substantive instead of my general blah about school and non-course schedule posting. Not for another week at least.
I've gotten to the discussion on this last lab, and writing all of that up should take me about an hour to an hour and a half to do. Yay.
I have to put in our Flow-Jo stuff that we did on a previous lab. Probably anohter 30 minutes.
I still ahve to really study for our test tomorrow. Another hour.
All in all, tonight, I should be up until about midnight.
Then tomorrow, I have to work my ass off on P-Chem since I have a quiz on Friday.
Shit. This week is almost done.
Then of course I ahve to spend all weekend basically working on Spanish, which ,thanks to this essay, I hate right now.
Next week, fortunately is only my biochemistry quiz, so I can spend the rest of the week cramming for the GRE. I'm skipping everything on Friday to study, French on Thursday night, and maybe another Spanish class on Wednesday.
All in all, my life is pain.
I would love to post something substantive instead of my general blah about school and non-course schedule posting. Not for another week at least.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Going Down
Well, three tests/essay are done. All I have left to do this week is basically Methods stuff and stuff for Physical Chemistry.
This sounds like very little, but in fact, the rest of this week is pretty much the hardest part of a week for the next month.
I'm REALLY tired. I got up at 4 AM this morning, and it's 11 PM.
However, I am happy to announce that my paper is turned in and my immunology test is over.
I got my biochem and French grades back today. 94% and 98% respectively. Damn. I freaking suck. Why is it that I study and still suck?
I'm REALLY getting tired of sucking at school.
I found out today that course schedules are not going to come out until November 2. Seriously? Stupid school.
It won't stop me from checking though.
Tomorrow is my short day, which is yay. Unfortunately, there's no skipping classes tomorrow. I'm going to actually have to do some Spanish, i.e. figuring out if I really want to write about the violence in Colombia, or maybe think about something else. The earlier in history it is, the better for me, and if I already know something about it, the better off I am.
I dunno.
I just want things to look up for a change. Despite being Mr. Dark and Depressive, I need some Bright and Shiny soon, or I'm jsut going to shoot myself.
ARGH! To bed.
This sounds like very little, but in fact, the rest of this week is pretty much the hardest part of a week for the next month.
I'm REALLY tired. I got up at 4 AM this morning, and it's 11 PM.
However, I am happy to announce that my paper is turned in and my immunology test is over.
I got my biochem and French grades back today. 94% and 98% respectively. Damn. I freaking suck. Why is it that I study and still suck?
I'm REALLY getting tired of sucking at school.
I found out today that course schedules are not going to come out until November 2. Seriously? Stupid school.
It won't stop me from checking though.
Tomorrow is my short day, which is yay. Unfortunately, there's no skipping classes tomorrow. I'm going to actually have to do some Spanish, i.e. figuring out if I really want to write about the violence in Colombia, or maybe think about something else. The earlier in history it is, the better for me, and if I already know something about it, the better off I am.
I dunno.
I just want things to look up for a change. Despite being Mr. Dark and Depressive, I need some Bright and Shiny soon, or I'm jsut going to shoot myself.
ARGH! To bed.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Majors
Major negatives right now:
1) My history paper is still not done.
2) UCCS majorly sucks by not releasing COURSE SCHEDULES!!!
3) Having 5 tests/essays in one week is the root of university evil
4) I have like no ability to study for immunology right now, and I REALLY want to.
5) My head hurts.
6) Money is woo-hoo gone.
7) I am sleepy.
8) I didn't go to Spanish, so now I'm behind in that class with no hope of catching up until this weekend.
9) I have NO new grades to report.
Major positives right now:
1) I have three drafts of my history paper done (2 to go)
2) My biochemistry exam was super easy today.
3) I only have 4 exams/essay left to go.
4) My essay is actually decent at this point.
5) Tomorrow is academically pretty easy-short Methods class, Immunology test, listening and not having to participate in History, and first lesson on Chapitre Trois in French, so no quizzes to study for.
6) I'm going to actually have time to study for everything else this week.
7) I have peppermint tea right now.
8) Watching Irish dance=amazing.
Things are actually looking up. If I can get this history paper tied together really well in these last couple of drafts, then I am poised to have at least 2 A's this week, hopefully, out of two. I'll have a decent idea about immunology once I take the test, of course.
Back to work!
1) My history paper is still not done.
2) UCCS majorly sucks by not releasing COURSE SCHEDULES!!!
3) Having 5 tests/essays in one week is the root of university evil
4) I have like no ability to study for immunology right now, and I REALLY want to.
5) My head hurts.
6) Money is woo-hoo gone.
7) I am sleepy.
8) I didn't go to Spanish, so now I'm behind in that class with no hope of catching up until this weekend.
9) I have NO new grades to report.
Major positives right now:
1) I have three drafts of my history paper done (2 to go)
2) My biochemistry exam was super easy today.
3) I only have 4 exams/essay left to go.
4) My essay is actually decent at this point.
5) Tomorrow is academically pretty easy-short Methods class, Immunology test, listening and not having to participate in History, and first lesson on Chapitre Trois in French, so no quizzes to study for.
6) I'm going to actually have time to study for everything else this week.
7) I have peppermint tea right now.
8) Watching Irish dance=amazing.
Things are actually looking up. If I can get this history paper tied together really well in these last couple of drafts, then I am poised to have at least 2 A's this week, hopefully, out of two. I'll have a decent idea about immunology once I take the test, of course.
Back to work!
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Something tells me this week may break me
I am totally and completely unable to focus, on anything, really. It doesn't help that I have two tests and an essay due over the next 40 hours. About 13 of those hours I'll be asleep, 6 in other classes. So really, I have 21 hours to do my crap. Fortunately, I only have one test tomorrow, which is biochem. I've studied for it quite a bit, and I'm going to go over all of my notes one more time tonight before I go to bed, then I'm going to finish my history draft.
AGH yes, I know, I still have not finished it. I'm almost at six pages. I need like 8 more lines of text. Once I hit 6 pages and I know all of my paragraphs are complete, I'm just going to drop it until tomorrow morning, when I go through my first edit of it. Then, after my biochem test, I go into a second edit, then after P-Chem, I have a third one to go through. Then, about an hour after I get home, a fourth, with my fifth one coming on Tuesday morning in between methods in immunology and immunology test. It sounds like a plan, but considering how fucked up my plans have been over the last week...
I'm starting to realize that Wednesday is going to suck too. I have to write up two huge labs and study for my methods test on Thursday, which will be anti-fun. Then, Thursday afternoon, I have to study my ass off for P-Chem. This weekend gets sucked up by my spanish abstract I have to write for this paper I haven't even started researching yet.
Next semester, I am so going to decrease my load. I'm going to take no more than 20 hours. I swear. Ok, that's totally a lie. I'll be doing a ton more than I should be doing again.
Fuck. I hate my life right now. ARGH!
AGH yes, I know, I still have not finished it. I'm almost at six pages. I need like 8 more lines of text. Once I hit 6 pages and I know all of my paragraphs are complete, I'm just going to drop it until tomorrow morning, when I go through my first edit of it. Then, after my biochem test, I go into a second edit, then after P-Chem, I have a third one to go through. Then, about an hour after I get home, a fourth, with my fifth one coming on Tuesday morning in between methods in immunology and immunology test. It sounds like a plan, but considering how fucked up my plans have been over the last week...
I'm starting to realize that Wednesday is going to suck too. I have to write up two huge labs and study for my methods test on Thursday, which will be anti-fun. Then, Thursday afternoon, I have to study my ass off for P-Chem. This weekend gets sucked up by my spanish abstract I have to write for this paper I haven't even started researching yet.
Next semester, I am so going to decrease my load. I'm going to take no more than 20 hours. I swear. Ok, that's totally a lie. I'll be doing a ton more than I should be doing again.
Fuck. I hate my life right now. ARGH!
AUGH!
So, it's Sunday afternoon, which should mean that productiveness occurred this weekend. Nope.
My history essay? Like 4 pages long, and REALLY bad. I mean F worthy bad.
I have like no ability to focus, so tonight what I'm going to do is just finish it, and then go through a first edit and then tear the hell out of it tomorrow.
The rest of the next 48 hours is dedicated to studying for Immunology and Biochemistry.
Fuck.
My history essay? Like 4 pages long, and REALLY bad. I mean F worthy bad.
I have like no ability to focus, so tonight what I'm going to do is just finish it, and then go through a first edit and then tear the hell out of it tomorrow.
The rest of the next 48 hours is dedicated to studying for Immunology and Biochemistry.
Fuck.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Errrrr?
So I'm actually confused about how hard next week will be. I mean, seriously. I have 5 tests, but my two this week were somewhat easy. Granted, I barely studied for them, but still.
I've already started my crap for next week. I've written about 1/3 of my biochemistry things onto 3'X5' cards, and the test isn't until Monday. I've also written a bunch of ideas through which I have to target my essay for history.
Tomorrow morning is mostly going to focus on these two classes, since my biochem test is on Monday and the History is something I can work on early. I have a really good idea about where I'm going in history, and I just need to make an outline and find the evidence I'm going to use on it. Then Saturday afternoon, I'm going to write it. Sunday will be two edits, and Monday two more.
Biochemistry tomorrow should be finished. I'm hoping to get all of my notes copied onto the note cards, but if not at work in the morning, then at night when I get a break, I should be able to finish that. Sunday will be LOTS of studying.
So I do have some REALLY good news today. For one, I've gotten to put in a LOT of hours in at the lab. Then, today, my lab instructor says that it's great that I've been so dedicated, and working in there extra hours. She also said that since I'm taking this class, that if I come up with a good independent study research project, that I pretty much can work in there.
Winter break then, now=study for GRE+Flow Cytometry class+INDEPENDENT RESEARCH IDEAS!!!!!!!!!
If I get that, then I have research.
I am in this state of OMG right now.
I have this weird craving to watch pro football right now. How odd.
Ok, I'm going to bed so I can get some rest and be ready to tackle tomorrow.
I've already started my crap for next week. I've written about 1/3 of my biochemistry things onto 3'X5' cards, and the test isn't until Monday. I've also written a bunch of ideas through which I have to target my essay for history.
Tomorrow morning is mostly going to focus on these two classes, since my biochem test is on Monday and the History is something I can work on early. I have a really good idea about where I'm going in history, and I just need to make an outline and find the evidence I'm going to use on it. Then Saturday afternoon, I'm going to write it. Sunday will be two edits, and Monday two more.
Biochemistry tomorrow should be finished. I'm hoping to get all of my notes copied onto the note cards, but if not at work in the morning, then at night when I get a break, I should be able to finish that. Sunday will be LOTS of studying.
So I do have some REALLY good news today. For one, I've gotten to put in a LOT of hours in at the lab. Then, today, my lab instructor says that it's great that I've been so dedicated, and working in there extra hours. She also said that since I'm taking this class, that if I come up with a good independent study research project, that I pretty much can work in there.
Winter break then, now=study for GRE+Flow Cytometry class+INDEPENDENT RESEARCH IDEAS!!!!!!!!!
If I get that, then I have research.
I am in this state of OMG right now.
I have this weird craving to watch pro football right now. How odd.
Ok, I'm going to bed so I can get some rest and be ready to tackle tomorrow.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
1 Down 6 to go
Spanish exam is now over. I think I did decently on it, but certainly not to the level of curve busting. Probably somewhere in the range of 88% to 94%, but I would doubt that I did much better than that.
Tomorrow is French, which promises to be a VERY easy test, considering that it's French 101. A monkey can pass French 101.
Things start looking worse after tomorrow, with three tests/essays on Monday and Tuesday for which I HAVE to prepare. I'm going to create a general outline of my history essay tonight, with hopes of doing decently on it for Tuesday. I'll probably not start writing it until Friday morning, because tomorrow night is totally occupied, and in between immunology and French, I'm going to basically put togeter my immunology study guide.
I've decided instead of looking at these two weeks as a block, I just need to look at this next week as one, and then the second part of next week as a separate block. That way, I really only have 4 tests/essays left and then next week is easy breezy...hahahahahaha.
My blog is going on an outage in 20 minutes, so I should be brief.
UCCS! POST THE G-D CLASS SCHEDULE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tomorrow is French, which promises to be a VERY easy test, considering that it's French 101. A monkey can pass French 101.
Things start looking worse after tomorrow, with three tests/essays on Monday and Tuesday for which I HAVE to prepare. I'm going to create a general outline of my history essay tonight, with hopes of doing decently on it for Tuesday. I'll probably not start writing it until Friday morning, because tomorrow night is totally occupied, and in between immunology and French, I'm going to basically put togeter my immunology study guide.
I've decided instead of looking at these two weeks as a block, I just need to look at this next week as one, and then the second part of next week as a separate block. That way, I really only have 4 tests/essays left and then next week is easy breezy...hahahahahaha.
My blog is going on an outage in 20 minutes, so I should be brief.
UCCS! POST THE G-D CLASS SCHEDULE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fast
Only a short update this morning, mainly because I still have a lot of studying left to do for Spanish today. A ton, really. And I only have about 75 minutes in which I can do it in between classes.
One of the Celtic Women is pregnant, again, and another is leaving for a while, both of which are sadness.
CU Boulder put out their schedule for next semester. UCCS still has not, which makes me REALLY hate my school right now. I looked at classes in my majors, and I would basically only be taking History classes. Regis has had theirs out for almost two weeks, and they actually have nothing. I would seriously be doing all of my core requirements this semester if I was still there.
I'm hoping I can take that genetics test and use it as some serious momentum over the next two weeks. I really could use some success.
One of the Celtic Women is pregnant, again, and another is leaving for a while, both of which are sadness.
CU Boulder put out their schedule for next semester. UCCS still has not, which makes me REALLY hate my school right now. I looked at classes in my majors, and I would basically only be taking History classes. Regis has had theirs out for almost two weeks, and they actually have nothing. I would seriously be doing all of my core requirements this semester if I was still there.
I'm hoping I can take that genetics test and use it as some serious momentum over the next two weeks. I really could use some success.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Rebounding
So, in recent times, things have generally been bad. My grades have been generally disappointing, and things were just looking bleak for the next two weeks.
Well, things have DEFINITELY changed today, and for once, things are starting to improve. Know why? My reputation as a curve-wrecker is restored. Absolute devastation of curves, everywhere curves were lost because of amazing grade I got on my genetics test.
103
Now if only this can carry on elsewhere.
Well, things have DEFINITELY changed today, and for once, things are starting to improve. Know why? My reputation as a curve-wrecker is restored. Absolute devastation of curves, everywhere curves were lost because of amazing grade I got on my genetics test.
103
Now if only this can carry on elsewhere.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Kick ass time, either way
So these next two weeks really need to be considered as a block. I tend to do things week by week, but considering how much I actually have to do, I'm definitely going to link them together and hope for the best. Just to refresh myself how much these next two weeks are going to suck...
HIST 411: ESSAY 2!!! (25%)
SPAN 425: Exam (20%)
FR 101: Exam (10%)
BIOL 481: Exam (18%)
CHEM 451: Quiz (8%)
BIOL 409: Exam (14%)
BIOL 391: Exam (20%)
That's a LOT of percentage points that I'm going to be racking up in the next two weeks. That includes ALL of my classes except Genetics, which only has 40 points out of 700 in the next two weeks. The hell starts this Wednesday and runs through next Friday. The basic plan right now is to worry about Spanish for the next two days, whereupon finishing the exam on Wednesday, I immediately dive into History, non-stop until Saturday, basically, then spend Sunday and Monday morning editing it. Time on Sunday where I don't edit essays is devoted entirely to biochemistry. Any time I have off on Saturday during Cool Science will be spent studying biochemistry as well. It will be the central focus of studying at work Friday night.
Monday night is entirely Methods, since my test is next Tuesday. Tuesday night is recovery mode, since this week will pretty much be non-stop work. I'll be going to bed early, etc.
Wednesday is devoted to studying Immunology and then Thursday is all day Physical Chemistry.
After this block, my semester turns drastically easier. I would be over 50% done in Spanish, French, and that's basically it. I'm already over half done with genetics, and once I get done writing this, I'm finishing up the homework for next week, so that this class is totally off of my radar for the next two weeks, which will be unquestionably hot, as in painfully hot.
So time to work.
HIST 411: ESSAY 2!!! (25%)
SPAN 425: Exam (20%)
FR 101: Exam (10%)
BIOL 481: Exam (18%)
CHEM 451: Quiz (8%)
BIOL 409: Exam (14%)
BIOL 391: Exam (20%)
That's a LOT of percentage points that I'm going to be racking up in the next two weeks. That includes ALL of my classes except Genetics, which only has 40 points out of 700 in the next two weeks. The hell starts this Wednesday and runs through next Friday. The basic plan right now is to worry about Spanish for the next two days, whereupon finishing the exam on Wednesday, I immediately dive into History, non-stop until Saturday, basically, then spend Sunday and Monday morning editing it. Time on Sunday where I don't edit essays is devoted entirely to biochemistry. Any time I have off on Saturday during Cool Science will be spent studying biochemistry as well. It will be the central focus of studying at work Friday night.
Monday night is entirely Methods, since my test is next Tuesday. Tuesday night is recovery mode, since this week will pretty much be non-stop work. I'll be going to bed early, etc.
Wednesday is devoted to studying Immunology and then Thursday is all day Physical Chemistry.
After this block, my semester turns drastically easier. I would be over 50% done in Spanish, French, and that's basically it. I'm already over half done with genetics, and once I get done writing this, I'm finishing up the homework for next week, so that this class is totally off of my radar for the next two weeks, which will be unquestionably hot, as in painfully hot.
So time to work.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Such a Disappointment
That's basically me right now.
Genetics test? Kind of meh. I think I did reasonably ok on it, but not as well as I probably should have done on it.
Biochemistry Quiz? 92%, which is such a disappointment. I'm sick of getting the same grade in that class.
Physical Chemistry? I'm not too sure of details, but I definitely suck ass right now. Somewhere in the range of 83% to 91%. Either one is bad, because as of this moment, I have an A- in that class. Which means that I need to start throwing red flags everywhere, because something is fucked up with me right now in there.
Finances? I have a credit card bill for $580 and I currently have $540 to my name. I'm going to pay it this Friday when I get paid, which will be just shy of $200. It definitely looks like we'll be opening the LTC on the weekends, so I definitely would like a few more hours. I might be the only Spanish person available, which would let me rack up the hours. I got about 70 more surveys on Friday, all for Spanish and French, so I'm going to make a preliminary recommendation to my boss, as well as let him know that all of the languages will be covered.
Homework? HAH! I have gotten like nothing done. I have so much to do this week (AND SO MUCH MORE NEXT!) and I did so little today, it's not even funny. I finished my immunology lab from last time, read my 2 chapters of genetics for this week, did about 2/3 of my immunology worksheet for lab, and studied for my French test this week. I still have to read 250 pages of history, which I have not started and probably won't start today, plus, I have my hugenormous Spanish test on Wednesday.
Future? Looks SERIOUSLY bleak. I mean, come on. 7 tests/essays in the next two weeks sounds like I'll be sucking ass all of these two weeks. Then, the week after that is GRE, for which I will finish outlining the book tonight, for sure.
Grad schools, is one thing that is changing. With my new found interest in Immunology, I'm looking at schools that have both immunology and cell in case I change my mind again, which is always apt to happen.
This is my new list, in no particular order, by state:
Colorado:
CU-Boulder
CU-Health Sciences Center
CSU
Kansas
KU
KSU
Missouri
UM-Colombia
Iowa
ISU-Research Park
UI-Medical Science Center
Michigan
UM
MSU
Indiana
Purdue
Yeah. Tough times ahead.
Genetics test? Kind of meh. I think I did reasonably ok on it, but not as well as I probably should have done on it.
Biochemistry Quiz? 92%, which is such a disappointment. I'm sick of getting the same grade in that class.
Physical Chemistry? I'm not too sure of details, but I definitely suck ass right now. Somewhere in the range of 83% to 91%. Either one is bad, because as of this moment, I have an A- in that class. Which means that I need to start throwing red flags everywhere, because something is fucked up with me right now in there.
Finances? I have a credit card bill for $580 and I currently have $540 to my name. I'm going to pay it this Friday when I get paid, which will be just shy of $200. It definitely looks like we'll be opening the LTC on the weekends, so I definitely would like a few more hours. I might be the only Spanish person available, which would let me rack up the hours. I got about 70 more surveys on Friday, all for Spanish and French, so I'm going to make a preliminary recommendation to my boss, as well as let him know that all of the languages will be covered.
Homework? HAH! I have gotten like nothing done. I have so much to do this week (AND SO MUCH MORE NEXT!) and I did so little today, it's not even funny. I finished my immunology lab from last time, read my 2 chapters of genetics for this week, did about 2/3 of my immunology worksheet for lab, and studied for my French test this week. I still have to read 250 pages of history, which I have not started and probably won't start today, plus, I have my hugenormous Spanish test on Wednesday.
Future? Looks SERIOUSLY bleak. I mean, come on. 7 tests/essays in the next two weeks sounds like I'll be sucking ass all of these two weeks. Then, the week after that is GRE, for which I will finish outlining the book tonight, for sure.
Grad schools, is one thing that is changing. With my new found interest in Immunology, I'm looking at schools that have both immunology and cell in case I change my mind again, which is always apt to happen.
This is my new list, in no particular order, by state:
Colorado:
CU-Boulder
CU-Health Sciences Center
CSU
Kansas
KU
KSU
Missouri
UM-Colombia
Iowa
ISU-Research Park
UI-Medical Science Center
Michigan
UM
MSU
Indiana
Purdue
Yeah. Tough times ahead.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
I have 200 posts, and I never even noticed it.
Such is how my life is: I am no longer able to be this normal human being, but rather, I am some kind of machine, bent on nothing but success.
The problem is that I have not done well in anything in the last two weeks. I did badly on my biochemistry quiz yesterday, which continues my hot streak of failure. If I don't stop it today with my genetics test (for which I am sorely unprepared), then my semester will effectively be ruined. I NEED an A on this test, or everything is going down the tubes, failure will be assured, and any hope I ever had of being someone totally ruined.
Such failures are intolerable. Completely and utterly intolerable. If I cannot maintain my standards, then I have no business claiming to be a good student, no business applying to graduate school, and no business doing anything I like to do. In effect these recent failures have exposed some deep weakness, some sloth or some ignorance, which I must endeavor to quash. Once I have finished this series of exams, I will spend no time wasted on frivolous matters. Sleep must be cut drastically, and I will adapt. The sources of any recreation must be buried and any semblance of joy must be eradicated, for the sake of any success to come.
I must defeat my desires and smother my inhibitions.
Such is how my life is: I am no longer able to be this normal human being, but rather, I am some kind of machine, bent on nothing but success.
The problem is that I have not done well in anything in the last two weeks. I did badly on my biochemistry quiz yesterday, which continues my hot streak of failure. If I don't stop it today with my genetics test (for which I am sorely unprepared), then my semester will effectively be ruined. I NEED an A on this test, or everything is going down the tubes, failure will be assured, and any hope I ever had of being someone totally ruined.
Such failures are intolerable. Completely and utterly intolerable. If I cannot maintain my standards, then I have no business claiming to be a good student, no business applying to graduate school, and no business doing anything I like to do. In effect these recent failures have exposed some deep weakness, some sloth or some ignorance, which I must endeavor to quash. Once I have finished this series of exams, I will spend no time wasted on frivolous matters. Sleep must be cut drastically, and I will adapt. The sources of any recreation must be buried and any semblance of joy must be eradicated, for the sake of any success to come.
I must defeat my desires and smother my inhibitions.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Short
Wednesday=Biochemistry Quiz=Gah.
Thursday=Genetics!=Gah.
Friday=Physical Chemistry!=GAH!
Um, the rest of this week is not looking that good. Genetics is looking slightly better, if only because I've been working my butt off on it.
Biochem, not so much. It's the class I'm actually most worried about, and so, I'm really freaking out about this quiz tomorrow.
I have no need to reiterate how devastating that last exam in physical chemistry was. I'm seriously doubting my abilities to do all of my classes this semester because of that one grade. I could use a kick in the ass, for sucking.
So Regis' course schedules are out=UCCS better get its butt in gear.
My surveys are coming in greater force=weekend job times.
Do I really have anything else to say?
Not really.
Thursday=Genetics!=Gah.
Friday=Physical Chemistry!=GAH!
Um, the rest of this week is not looking that good. Genetics is looking slightly better, if only because I've been working my butt off on it.
Biochem, not so much. It's the class I'm actually most worried about, and so, I'm really freaking out about this quiz tomorrow.
I have no need to reiterate how devastating that last exam in physical chemistry was. I'm seriously doubting my abilities to do all of my classes this semester because of that one grade. I could use a kick in the ass, for sucking.
So Regis' course schedules are out=UCCS better get its butt in gear.
My surveys are coming in greater force=weekend job times.
Do I really have anything else to say?
Not really.
Monday, October 8, 2007
Actively stressed
As seen in my title, I may die this week.
I got a 96% on my Spanish presentation, which was un poco triste, but I have so many other things to worry about this week, that I'll take it.
Tomorrow is hell. I'm in the lab in the morning, and I hear that it's a very short lab, which is good. Then I have an hour of work, followed by immunology, history, genetics review and French in rapid succession.
In all of this, there is like no time for me to study for my biochemistry test which is on Wednesday. Nor is there time to study for my GRE which is in less than a month. I'm about 1/2 of the way through outlining my study book.
But the big looming monster is genetics. I have no idea whether or not I am ready for this test. I'm leaning more towards no. I'm going to recopy all of my definitions and my experiments, do all of the study questions, and then hang myself on Wednesday. I'm REALLY tempted to skip Spanish, but I really cannot afford it.
Friday brings more anguish with P-Chem.
However, my main irritant right now is this combination of History (essay due in two weeks), French (oral, from memory tomorrow night), and Biochem, which is nickel and diming me to death. Take them away, I could survive.
Next semester is going to be so much better. I'll have a good idea of that when they post my G-D schedule. Regis is posting this week, so that means that UCCS will be doing it for sure within the next two weeks.
Everything is still up in the air, but I may end up actually taking 3 graduate courses next semester (Biochem II, Advanced Immunology, and Advanced Organic Chemistry). Couple that with my philosophy thesis, Spanish, French, and an additional elective in bio maybe (research if possible), and I'm looking at 20-22 hours. Which, with those 12 REALLY bad ones, is more like 30 hours, work wise.
6 classes is starting to look REALLY nice.
ARGH. Schedules are so nice.
Why don't I have one?
I need there to be an additional 5 hours a day and a body that functions on three hours of sleep. THAT would be nice.
I got a 96% on my Spanish presentation, which was un poco triste, but I have so many other things to worry about this week, that I'll take it.
Tomorrow is hell. I'm in the lab in the morning, and I hear that it's a very short lab, which is good. Then I have an hour of work, followed by immunology, history, genetics review and French in rapid succession.
In all of this, there is like no time for me to study for my biochemistry test which is on Wednesday. Nor is there time to study for my GRE which is in less than a month. I'm about 1/2 of the way through outlining my study book.
But the big looming monster is genetics. I have no idea whether or not I am ready for this test. I'm leaning more towards no. I'm going to recopy all of my definitions and my experiments, do all of the study questions, and then hang myself on Wednesday. I'm REALLY tempted to skip Spanish, but I really cannot afford it.
Friday brings more anguish with P-Chem.
However, my main irritant right now is this combination of History (essay due in two weeks), French (oral, from memory tomorrow night), and Biochem, which is nickel and diming me to death. Take them away, I could survive.
Next semester is going to be so much better. I'll have a good idea of that when they post my G-D schedule. Regis is posting this week, so that means that UCCS will be doing it for sure within the next two weeks.
Everything is still up in the air, but I may end up actually taking 3 graduate courses next semester (Biochem II, Advanced Immunology, and Advanced Organic Chemistry). Couple that with my philosophy thesis, Spanish, French, and an additional elective in bio maybe (research if possible), and I'm looking at 20-22 hours. Which, with those 12 REALLY bad ones, is more like 30 hours, work wise.
6 classes is starting to look REALLY nice.
ARGH. Schedules are so nice.
Why don't I have one?
I need there to be an additional 5 hours a day and a body that functions on three hours of sleep. THAT would be nice.
I should comment on life, since I have not done it in the last few days.
I'm starting to think that I am either depressed or just so exhausted that emotions don't play into anything. Sure, I laugh (a LOT) when shows like Desperate Housewives are on, but all the rest of the time, I'm getting to where I am only serious.
I have this overwhelming sense of peril combined with panic. I'm terrified that I'm not going to get straight A's, which is a real possibility this semester. That 83% in Phys. Chem has spread like wildfire. I'm in a veritable sense of panic about all of my classes right now, except immunology and French. Everything else is this constant sense of worry, like my life is about to undergo chaos. As if A-'s to B+'s are about to start falling from the sky, bombarding my GPA.
I don't think I've ever been so worried about grades in recent times. This week brings no promises of things being any easier, with two quizzes, a test, and a presentation. Next week is two tests, and so on.
The GRE is defintiely starting to loom on me, as I am panicked also that I will fail that and blow any shot of getting into grad school.
My days now are filled with worry and fear. My lack of success is disappointing. No such failures should be tolerated, but, unfortunately, existence demands that I tolerate my failures. If only things could be different. But the world is not this happy shiny place filled with ponies, rainbows, and happy faces. This world is at its core a dark place, filled with dark people, that have no intention of making it any better. Human nature tends first towards destruction, and without order, we are all lost to violence.
If I am successful at my endeavors this week, things might start to look a little better, but this whole month is just one dark dark day after another.
I'm starting to think that I am either depressed or just so exhausted that emotions don't play into anything. Sure, I laugh (a LOT) when shows like Desperate Housewives are on, but all the rest of the time, I'm getting to where I am only serious.
I have this overwhelming sense of peril combined with panic. I'm terrified that I'm not going to get straight A's, which is a real possibility this semester. That 83% in Phys. Chem has spread like wildfire. I'm in a veritable sense of panic about all of my classes right now, except immunology and French. Everything else is this constant sense of worry, like my life is about to undergo chaos. As if A-'s to B+'s are about to start falling from the sky, bombarding my GPA.
I don't think I've ever been so worried about grades in recent times. This week brings no promises of things being any easier, with two quizzes, a test, and a presentation. Next week is two tests, and so on.
The GRE is defintiely starting to loom on me, as I am panicked also that I will fail that and blow any shot of getting into grad school.
My days now are filled with worry and fear. My lack of success is disappointing. No such failures should be tolerated, but, unfortunately, existence demands that I tolerate my failures. If only things could be different. But the world is not this happy shiny place filled with ponies, rainbows, and happy faces. This world is at its core a dark place, filled with dark people, that have no intention of making it any better. Human nature tends first towards destruction, and without order, we are all lost to violence.
If I am successful at my endeavors this week, things might start to look a little better, but this whole month is just one dark dark day after another.
Friday, October 5, 2007
Addendum
Since posting this morning, little has gone better for me. The good thing is that I finished my immunology lab from Tuesday and I outlined one chapter of my GRE book to get the things I need to know for the exam. My hands are too tired to write anymore, so I thought I would post some more.
I'm still really just frustrated with having all of these plans for this coming week go up in smoke, as well as my plans for my winter break. I was going to spend it just studying for GRE #2, but alas, now I have to be all happy. I'm seriously tired of having to be Mr. Give Everything because I'm just worn out.
I get 1 hour a week to myself these days.
I got into a fight with my mom last night about my dad's MS/BPPV. She thinks that his illness is some direct punishment from god because she didn't pray or she did something bad. I said that it's biology. Something no deity really has control over, but rather just a flawed system of existence. I said basically that she wasn't cosmically important enough to warrant something like that and that an autoimmune disease is just a malfunction of biology. I dunno anymore.
After posting, I felt the need to run downstairs and get coffee. So I pay my typical $1.77 for coffee, only to get half a cup. All of the coffee dispensers were out and the barista looked really stressed with lots of customers, so I just left.
Then I looked at my banking/credit card stuff and it's seriously depressing. I got paid $200 today, which is nice, but all of that money is gone tomorrow, when I get my credit card bill, which, by the way, is $580. I only have $600 in my accounts, so, for the second straight month, I'm going to only be able to pay about 50% of my bill.
I hate money so much, it's not even funny. I hate how my life is turning out. I hate everything right now, basically.
I hate how I want to be so freaking selfish, and I can't.
I'm still really just frustrated with having all of these plans for this coming week go up in smoke, as well as my plans for my winter break. I was going to spend it just studying for GRE #2, but alas, now I have to be all happy. I'm seriously tired of having to be Mr. Give Everything because I'm just worn out.
I get 1 hour a week to myself these days.
I got into a fight with my mom last night about my dad's MS/BPPV. She thinks that his illness is some direct punishment from god because she didn't pray or she did something bad. I said that it's biology. Something no deity really has control over, but rather just a flawed system of existence. I said basically that she wasn't cosmically important enough to warrant something like that and that an autoimmune disease is just a malfunction of biology. I dunno anymore.
After posting, I felt the need to run downstairs and get coffee. So I pay my typical $1.77 for coffee, only to get half a cup. All of the coffee dispensers were out and the barista looked really stressed with lots of customers, so I just left.
Then I looked at my banking/credit card stuff and it's seriously depressing. I got paid $200 today, which is nice, but all of that money is gone tomorrow, when I get my credit card bill, which, by the way, is $580. I only have $600 in my accounts, so, for the second straight month, I'm going to only be able to pay about 50% of my bill.
I hate money so much, it's not even funny. I hate how my life is turning out. I hate everything right now, basically.
I hate how I want to be so freaking selfish, and I can't.
I Don't Think That I'm Going to Make It
So today I am beyond dour. I am beyond exhausted, and I am at the edge of totally and completely emotionally snapping.
I'm got so much work to do in the next month, it's ridiculous. Next week, I have a presentation, two quizzes and a hugenormous exam. Then the week after I have two more tests, the week after that I have 4 tests and an essay due and the week after that it's the GRE.
I've stayed up past midnight for the last three or four days trying to get ahead so that I can study for the GRE, but I've had very little success. That is mainly due to my family troubles right now. I've been having to help my little sister for at least a couple hours a week on her homework, and Wednesday was no exception, with about two and a half hours. After which, I had to spend like an hour calming my mom down because she's convinced my sister needs to go back to second grade. After that I had several hours of HW, and a full day at school yesterday.
Yesterday added more fun to this month, as I now somehow got conned into editing people's scholarship applications (I'm not applying, so I don't care) and into working on a Saturday for something called Cool Science. I hate my life right now.
The end of all emotional control though is currently developing. Not depressed control, but just sheer frustration. I had been looking forward to having this next week to myself. Well, last night, my dad had this BPPV incident where he got REALLY nauseous. He thinks its related to his MS, which means that they're going to stay home this week. Not only that, but I'm probably going to have to go to Disneyland. I don't want to go anywhere. I just want some time to myself, which is impossible for me to get. And if I get any time to myself, I'm stuck doing homework or studying.
So there is going to be no cooking. I had all of these plans for tomorrow, where I could put on a couple of calming CD's, put some cookies in the oven, and study genetics. Then I could watch movies, TV, whatever, at my level of comfort. I could go to bed early, and sleep in a little. I had lots of plans that are now blown to shit. And it just frustrates me so much. I am in desperate need of relaxation, and I cannot get it for anything. At all. For at least 9 months.
And even if not relaxation, an opportunity to study alone, without anyone bothering me, without football on the tele, without any distractions. But, that is definitely not the case any more. So basically, I'm going to have to go someplace to study. Whenever I go anywhere, I don't study as well, and blah. I'm just so goddamm tired, it's not even funny.
And here I am at work, and I am really not wanting to be here right now. I really don't want to help people, and I don't want to talk to them. I'm just at the end of my rope right now.
When is this freakingness going to end?
I'm got so much work to do in the next month, it's ridiculous. Next week, I have a presentation, two quizzes and a hugenormous exam. Then the week after I have two more tests, the week after that I have 4 tests and an essay due and the week after that it's the GRE.
I've stayed up past midnight for the last three or four days trying to get ahead so that I can study for the GRE, but I've had very little success. That is mainly due to my family troubles right now. I've been having to help my little sister for at least a couple hours a week on her homework, and Wednesday was no exception, with about two and a half hours. After which, I had to spend like an hour calming my mom down because she's convinced my sister needs to go back to second grade. After that I had several hours of HW, and a full day at school yesterday.
Yesterday added more fun to this month, as I now somehow got conned into editing people's scholarship applications (I'm not applying, so I don't care) and into working on a Saturday for something called Cool Science. I hate my life right now.
The end of all emotional control though is currently developing. Not depressed control, but just sheer frustration. I had been looking forward to having this next week to myself. Well, last night, my dad had this BPPV incident where he got REALLY nauseous. He thinks its related to his MS, which means that they're going to stay home this week. Not only that, but I'm probably going to have to go to Disneyland. I don't want to go anywhere. I just want some time to myself, which is impossible for me to get. And if I get any time to myself, I'm stuck doing homework or studying.
So there is going to be no cooking. I had all of these plans for tomorrow, where I could put on a couple of calming CD's, put some cookies in the oven, and study genetics. Then I could watch movies, TV, whatever, at my level of comfort. I could go to bed early, and sleep in a little. I had lots of plans that are now blown to shit. And it just frustrates me so much. I am in desperate need of relaxation, and I cannot get it for anything. At all. For at least 9 months.
And even if not relaxation, an opportunity to study alone, without anyone bothering me, without football on the tele, without any distractions. But, that is definitely not the case any more. So basically, I'm going to have to go someplace to study. Whenever I go anywhere, I don't study as well, and blah. I'm just so goddamm tired, it's not even funny.
And here I am at work, and I am really not wanting to be here right now. I really don't want to help people, and I don't want to talk to them. I'm just at the end of my rope right now.
When is this freakingness going to end?
Thursday, October 4, 2007
So, blah. I didn't have my presentation yesterday, so it will be pushed off until Monday.
I really did not have anything yesterday, no grades, no progress no anything.
This weekend is actually looking good homework wise. With the family leaving this weekend, I'll have lots of time to do homework and cooking things.
I need to find some recipes. Since I have no grades, I have little else to say.
I really did not have anything yesterday, no grades, no progress no anything.
This weekend is actually looking good homework wise. With the family leaving this weekend, I'll have lots of time to do homework and cooking things.
I need to find some recipes. Since I have no grades, I have little else to say.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Since Kaleena does not have a blog on which I can respond to comments, a mental health day is a day where I don't go to school. Normally, I call them Mental Health Appreciation Days.
So, I have this really really good immunology question about serotonin and neutrophils. However, I am incapable of finding my immunology professor. I think she's teaching class today, so if she is, then I'll ask her later. I found an article pertaining to it, and I kind of want her to sort of help me through it.
Yesterday was not fitting to my definition of funness. I got an 83% on my P-Chem test, which is muy muy mal. Then I only got a 96% on my Spanish assignment, and my essay was probably not that great. Even though I edited it five times.
Tonight is busy, since I have to write a three minute oral on Sor Juana Inez de la Cruz.
I am totally going to need coffee to make it through my day.
So, I have this really really good immunology question about serotonin and neutrophils. However, I am incapable of finding my immunology professor. I think she's teaching class today, so if she is, then I'll ask her later. I found an article pertaining to it, and I kind of want her to sort of help me through it.
Yesterday was not fitting to my definition of funness. I got an 83% on my P-Chem test, which is muy muy mal. Then I only got a 96% on my Spanish assignment, and my essay was probably not that great. Even though I edited it five times.
Tonight is busy, since I have to write a three minute oral on Sor Juana Inez de la Cruz.
I am totally going to need coffee to make it through my day.
Monday, October 1, 2007
It's October. How amazing is that? Whereas just a couple of months ago, I was lamenting the passing of the months, now I cannot wait for December to come. The coming of December means the end of the semester, the end of stress (for a few weeks) and the rise of slumber, of snow, and of something else. We'll say cross-stitching, hot tea, and good movies.
However, I still have several weeks to go before we can get there. Most notably, the third week of this month, which promises to be devastating to my psyche. Next week could do the same, but I'm not too sure of that at this point.
I have several big question marks looming over this month. Can I do sufficiently well on my papers and exams to give myself a strong buffer against the stresses and challenges of November and December? Can I do all of these things and study for the Biology GRE exam? It is possible for me to get well enough ahead to give myself the time I need for the GRE?
I'm going to have to get ahead. There are really only two classes in which I can do that, History and Genetics. Once I take the genetics test, I'm going to pretty much spend the entire weekend to come on genetics, finishing everything in that class for the rest of the month, so that I can have time to study for the GRE. I'm also going to spend these next two weeks reading ahead in History, starting tomorrow.
My family is leaving on Saturday, which is kind of hard to believe. I'm going to be at home by myself for the following week, which means much cooking, much homework getting done, and uninhibited sexual passion. Ok, so not really the last one, but it'll kind of be nice to be totally alone for a few days.
I have not had a mental health day this semester. I just realized that. The problem is that mental health is so nearly impossible to schedule. Plus, missing class at this level is almost a death sentence. I've missed two, a P-Chem one to finish a history paper, and a French one for the Jeopardy test, and I'm sufficiently behind to where I want to cry. Actually, I'm not, but missing that P-Chem class probably fucked up my test.
I've edited my composition for today once already. By the way, it's twice the desired length. I don't care. The more the merrier, right? I'll do it again after biochemistry this morning.
My major complaints right now: my back is absolutely killing me. I have this shooting pain from beneath my neck all the way down to my buttocks on the left side of my back. I can only carry my massively heavy backpack with one arm. I am freakishly tired. I wish I could do it like other people who only need like 5 hours of sleep. If I get less than 7, I am a wasteland. I'm going to have to cut hundreds of pieces of paper this week, which is not yay.
Well, I had better get back to actually doing something, which for the next 20 minutes, means surfing the web, then making my changes to my composition and editing it again.
However, I still have several weeks to go before we can get there. Most notably, the third week of this month, which promises to be devastating to my psyche. Next week could do the same, but I'm not too sure of that at this point.
I have several big question marks looming over this month. Can I do sufficiently well on my papers and exams to give myself a strong buffer against the stresses and challenges of November and December? Can I do all of these things and study for the Biology GRE exam? It is possible for me to get well enough ahead to give myself the time I need for the GRE?
I'm going to have to get ahead. There are really only two classes in which I can do that, History and Genetics. Once I take the genetics test, I'm going to pretty much spend the entire weekend to come on genetics, finishing everything in that class for the rest of the month, so that I can have time to study for the GRE. I'm also going to spend these next two weeks reading ahead in History, starting tomorrow.
My family is leaving on Saturday, which is kind of hard to believe. I'm going to be at home by myself for the following week, which means much cooking, much homework getting done, and uninhibited sexual passion. Ok, so not really the last one, but it'll kind of be nice to be totally alone for a few days.
I have not had a mental health day this semester. I just realized that. The problem is that mental health is so nearly impossible to schedule. Plus, missing class at this level is almost a death sentence. I've missed two, a P-Chem one to finish a history paper, and a French one for the Jeopardy test, and I'm sufficiently behind to where I want to cry. Actually, I'm not, but missing that P-Chem class probably fucked up my test.
I've edited my composition for today once already. By the way, it's twice the desired length. I don't care. The more the merrier, right? I'll do it again after biochemistry this morning.
My major complaints right now: my back is absolutely killing me. I have this shooting pain from beneath my neck all the way down to my buttocks on the left side of my back. I can only carry my massively heavy backpack with one arm. I am freakishly tired. I wish I could do it like other people who only need like 5 hours of sleep. If I get less than 7, I am a wasteland. I'm going to have to cut hundreds of pieces of paper this week, which is not yay.
Well, I had better get back to actually doing something, which for the next 20 minutes, means surfing the web, then making my changes to my composition and editing it again.
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