My lame legacy?

I'm prett sure that the legacy of my life is going to be Mr. Almost. I almost got this scholarship, I almost got that award. I almost have an A in physiology. Almost got there, but just not quite.

I hate being Mr. Almost.

I don't know what's changed in the last two years. I used to be the top of the game. Number one in virtually everything. I was Mr. Competitive. Mr. I'm The One To Beat. Mr. Hell No You Don't Win Because I Already Did.

Something's happened in the last two years that has apparently devastated that. I don't know what the hell it is. I wish I could just freaking have something that could help me stop thinking about this. But it's all I think about all day long. How I used to be great at stuff and now I'm just basicallya bundle of shit.

I'm having some temptations to do some thing right now that I have not done in a long ass time, something that I should probably be doing regularly given my new name as Mr. Almost.

I feel like digging a hole for myself to just jump in and let the earth swallow me whole.

I get my last civil war paper tonight. There's another almost in the wings.

Dammit, I'm so freaking depressed right now, it's not even funny.